I've had Abe's Oddysee ever since I was about 15, just under ten years ago.
Finally I beat the game (like Monday just gone) with all 99 Mudokons intact.
It's taken me nearly a decade to do it!

Actually I once got through the game and missed one Mudokon. It pissed me off so bad that I didn't play it again for 6 whole years.
Trust me, they didn't make it easy.
I slaved over that bitch all day.
And what did I get for my troubles?

An FMV viewer.

Whoop-de-doo!
I once bought Abes Exoddus. But after completing that I realized rescuing all 999 Mudokons was nigh to impossible.
So I sold it.
They're great games, give them time.
But that's all they do, is eat up time.

If I ever managed to complete Abe's Exoddus with 999, trust me (I only just got over half the escapees required, otherwise I'd never have seen the good ending) it's a mission enough. If they didn't give you something well worth the effort they can lick ma ballsack.

Fucking FMV viewer indeed.

Bloody Glukkons!


...Valhalla (amen)


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I can't sleep, how could I possibly rest when I know not 3 miles from my house there is a concert I prayed for going on.

When they played Live in Texas, I wished to God I had been there.
Now the boys, along with Jay-z are in MY home town, possibly laying down an electrifying set, and I could have been in sweating distance of Chester Bennington had I only got the newsletter from the Linkin Park Underground fan club in time.

I feel like such a rotten fan having supported Mike, Chester, Joe, Brad, Rob and Phoenix through thick and thin, even when they collaborated with Jay-z on the collision course tour, other would-be's said they'd sold out, their latest album Minutes to Midnight took a more political stand point and it was too close to home for some.
Yeah, we all know what mess we're in because of Bush.
We were all thinking it, Linkin' Park put music to it and gave it a platform and then you all came complaining the LP sold out and shit like you didn't actually like the content of Hands Held High?
hypocrites, I still stood with them.
From their first Crawling moments to the day they told us to Bleed it Out...

And now I just feel like such a half arsed fan for not securing at least one ticket months ago.

I should be there, if not just stood outside the gate. If only to hear Chester give his heart and soul to his performance, like he always does, until his shirts are saturated and his voice box croaks in pain.
That's the way it usually goes.

I want to be there when Chairman Hahn throws his synthesizer off the podium in the hopes that a stray key takes my eye out.

And yet as I sit here listening to the faint thump of the bass amp over the suburbs between us, I'm reminded of how near, yet so far I came to meeting my heroes.
And this opportunity will NEVER come again.

Now tell me...

How can I possibly sleep?


...Valhalla (amen)


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I had a dream last night...

I had visitors to my house while my new friend Roger was giving me some free guitar tips.

I was joined in my room by two others. Helen Keller and a paraplegic in wheel chair, who had something to with the publishing of her books (how they got up the stairs is anyones guess though). Regardless, we held a meeting in my room. Between Helen (who was going by the alias Anita Franklin due due to publicity) and her publisher, who conversed somehow in some kind of code they seem to have perfected, they told me that the stories I wrote and drew were actually worth something.
Helen read the hidden meanings within my comics and after some time of having the story "What Makes A Hero" translated to her by her associate, she believed that the stories were worth being told.

My respects for the woman who, after discovering me through the internet and trabveling all the way just to tell me, more comics NOW! And publish that damn book! (to paraphrase, but you get the idea) many others had said it before, but then in hindsight for it to have come from someone who spoke to the world from the perspective of a blind deaf and mute person spoke volumes. That and she had the back up of her publisher.
If nothing else I had a writer AND a publisher in my troop.

But then I woke and realised it was a dream.
Although I didn't know at the time who helen Keller was until I looked it up, my only clue was Anita Franklin.
Anne Frank...? No? See Clerks II for reference.
It took me some time to work out why this message had come in this form, that and I ddn't know Helen had a book, let alone a publisher.
Wether they were wheelchair bound I do not know, but who cares.

Something, somewhere was trying to kickstart me.
And I think that Helen Keller would have rolled her publisher friend over me had I made any excuse not to.

But would it be feasible to publish the closing chapters of Gaz's life before anyone has even met the boy who became the andro-sapien? Or found out how?
Can I justify telling the story out of chronological order?

Star Wars considered. George Lucas decided to make episodes Iv, V and VI before going back to explain Darth Vader, and how Anakin became him. Sorry if I spoiled the plot for anyone, ho shit....
you'll never guess what!
You know that movie Titanic?
The boat sinks at the end!
OMG!
I'm spoiling it all now... somebody stop me!

At some point tonight I'm gonna need sleep.

I just wanted to sit down and tell you all my epiphany.
It may not be as profound as all that, but anyway, as I do enjoy your inoptu on matters I'll leave the flootr open to discussion.

I know my story "What Makes A Hero" still needs some work, but would it be ok to publish it out of turn?
Or would I be best off waiting unitl I've caught up with the storyline?

Your thoughts please?


...Valhalla (amen)


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Eli: Oh, my God, this is gonna be amazing! Minions, let's move.
*snaps fingers*
We don't need drugs... 66.6 Gaz FM!!

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
Baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came in sayin' I'm insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don't believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park

Yo. cut it.

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?

Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
Ones on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and its hangin' from a pigeon wing
You can't write if you can't relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin' on a termite
That's chokin' on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(drive-by body-pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
Soooooooyy....

(I'm a driver, I'm a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it)

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(I cant believe you)
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(schprechen sie deutches, baby)
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(know what I'm sayin? )

*still waving arms over his head swaying to the beat*

Eh? Hey who stole the music?
Shit I was just getting into that.

Man I had a crazy weekend, the whiskey faded reality so bad I'm not actually so sure HOW I got to Kirks couch in one piece.
I do remember something about us playing Tekken on a PSP, talking about skater shoes, and some crazy wedding anecdotes.
And the girls said we were in the living room all talking about "crap"... shoes and weddings?
Uhh hello? They coulda joined in at ANY point.
Oh and at some point I picked up Zoe and tried to flush her headfirst down the toilet, but I couldn't actually get up the stairs.
Something like that...
Good times.

We managed to go an entire evening without playing Halo, how did THAT happen?
xbox 360 roxxors. Gotta say it, the controllers more user friendly for starters, the graphics are too damn shiney, and one time I ran some other dude over while driving the warthog like a crazy drunk bitch.
So, like, what else is new?
Ya'll know I can't drive.

I watched a good few movies recently, there have been a decent run of flicks on the TV.
I'm surprised.
Last night I watched Frequency, it moved me.
The direction was bewildering, but providing the general plot is changing the past while still in the present some of the shit's gonna get confusing.
The other week I watched Basic.
Fucking awesome. Loved how the plot never stopped twisting.
Ya gotta watch it, I tell you now.
And I also watched "Girl Next Door"
It's funny in an American Pie- with a point -kinda way.
I watched An Officer and a Gentleman the other week as well.
It was a bit of a let down at points, but you know, there's a moral to it. If you can tough it out it's worth at least one watch.

Also, on DVD I bought The Longest Yard, Harold and Kumar Get The Munchies, and Garfield 2 (hey I'm a Garfield fan I was curious).

And you know how I get with "sticking to the plot" right?
I mean, I'll rant endlessly about Hollywood screwing up a decent storyline by stepping out of the box, yeah. I have to say "As a non-Garfield movie" it would work.

Garfield never break-danced in his life, he can barely be bothered to make a three foot walk to the food bowl in the morning.
Although Odie actually looked more like Odie in this version (they finally made the dog a blonde! Jesus.) the fact that they made Jon Arbuckle competent enough was a kicker.
Jon's a douche, he's extremely desperate for any affection and Liz hates him because of this. In both films she seemed just as desperate as he was.
Uhmmm, yeah I think we're gonna need more than wardrobe to clean this one up.

Harold and Kumar was funny as hell, utterly pointless nonetheless. But if you like Dude Where's My car, you'll be into this thing.
Also reminds of many times in my life where I had been drunk and/or stoned enough to go out on a mission with some mates. After a point where we all get totally lost and sidetracked in the process. Only to find out we've spent a good two days of our lives wandering the back o' beyond in search of a gas station, which we were only looking for in the first place for a pack of Doritos.
Hey it happens.
Learn from me, stay off drugs man... or you'll be just like me.
Constantly clueless.

Huh? What??
Oh yeah, The Longest Yard, now as this movie has had several remakes, (including an ACTUAL Football one not the "American Rugby" version) sorry, I'll call Football "Soccer" to save confusion, but "Football" is only football if you use your FOOT. When you run around HOLDING the ball it's essentially Rugby.
Take a hint.

Now Mean Machine was the British remake of Prison FOOT-uh-soccer... and as a remake for the FOOT-uh-soccer genre, it still works.
I can't remember if the original was a comedy, but you throw Adam Sandler and Chris Rock into a remake and it will end up that way.
Good for a laugh, so yeah. I bought that one.

Now I dunno if anyone ever understood my whole "Holla if you hear it" schtick.
Allow me to explain:
For years I been saying "holla if ya hear it" cos the music on my blogs is almost integral to the theme, or the music I've been subjecting my ears to recently.
FYI music is everywhere.
When you're riding shotgun with your homies, when you're cruising the mall for shoes, or sharking for girls at the club.
Whatever.
You hear music.
If by chance you hear/heard the same song as I play/ed recently, the throw up a fist and tell me you heard it.
If you read the lyrics and listened to it on iTunes, tell me and get props, or listen on youTube and give some love.
Basically wherever you are, or were let me know you felt the movement in the music so we can all exist on the same wavelength.
So throw up some horns wherever you are, whenever you hear "All My Life" by the Foo's and tell 'em Gaz D* sent ya. I'm out.
Holla if ya hear it!!

All my life I've been searching for something
Something never comes never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies but I'm getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
All night long I dream of the day
When it comes around then it's taken away
Leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most
Feel it come to life when I see your ghost

Come down don't you resist
You have such a delicate wrist
And if I give it a twist
Something to hold when I lose my grip
Will I find something in that
So give me just what I need
Another reason to bleed
ONE BY ONE hidden up my sleeve
ONE BY ONE hidden up my sleeve

Hey don't let it go to waste
I love it but I hate the taste
Weight keeping me down [x2]

Will I find a believer
Another one who believes
Another one to deceive
Over and over down on my knees
If I get any closer
And if you open up wide
And if you let me inside
On and on I've got nothing to hide
On and on I've got nothing to hide

Hey don't let it go to waste
I love it but I hate the taste
Weight keeping me down [x2]

All my life I've been searching for something
Something never comes never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies but I'm getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
All night long I dream of the day
When it comes around then it's taken away
Leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most
Feel it to life when I see your ghost

And I'm done, done and I'm onto the next one [x8, then x4 but yelling]

Hey don't let it go to waste
I love it but I hate the taste
Weight keeping me down [x2]

[yelling]
Done done and onto the next one
Done I'm done and I'm onto the next


...Valhalla (amen)


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"Give me a blowjob and a .45 and I'm good to go..."